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Autism: A Mom’s Diagnosis Story

It’s an extremely early morning in March 7 years ago and my husband, two young children and I are rushing to an appointment that’s a good 2 hours from home. Anyone who has children, has an emotional image of that morning. Your blood pressures up, your short tempered, and anything that could go wrong, does! To add assault to injury, this wasn’t your everyday checkup, no, this was an evaluation for my youngest, my son. He had been exhibiting some concerning behaviors for his age (he was almost 3) and after consistently bringing up his speech (or lack thereof) and hyperactivity to his pediatrician, we finally were referred to a child psychologist.

As I mentioned, this morning was a hectic one. Upon arrival, it was clear that the doctor was annoyed by our tardiness which is completely understandable. What I didn’t understand was the lack of patience for my son and his situation. She called us back in the tone of an over worked school mum which is very unwelcoming. My son had just endured a long car ride, so he was a bit overactive. The doctor hardly started the evaluation process when she rudely said those dreaded words “He has Autism!” Actually, the diagnosis she gave was Autism Spectrum Disorder Pervasive Development Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified (ASD PDD – NOS).

See also:

https://www.cheszdylan.com/2020/02/25/you-never-did/

Confusing right? Not understanding how she came to that conclusion, or what this even means for us or my son when there was supposed to be several hours of testing. I was shocked and full of questions and excuses. All she did was tell us where to sign out and handed us stacks upon stacks of packages with therapy listings, descriptions of Autism, and other things I can hardly remember. I left that place feeling hopeless, lost, and sad for my son.



For those who do not know what Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is… allow me to inform. Autism is a social spectrum disorder. No two children are alike. There are extreme and mild cases. Children are nonverbal and a lot of them have sensory issues with light, sounds, and so on. Most children can be diagnosed as early as 2 years old. Autism affects 1 in 68 children worldwide and is the fastest growing social disorder to date.

Of course, being a mother, I expected the worse and also over researching made me compare him to others so it put me in a form of denial. We did what we felt he needed by signing him up for every therapy available. Which was overwhelming for him. He was 2 and had over 20 hrs. of therapy a week. I’m talking occupational, physical, speech, early intervention school, Wrap Around service at the house. All the therapy didn’t help at all! It actually increased his hyperactivity and tantrums due to being over worked. This could’ve been prevented with a social worker or someone qualified to not only point us in the right direction, but help emotionally so I wouldn’t act so erratic.

This story is one that needs told. We live and breathe our children. When given news of this nature, I feel the parents should be handled with care and there should be more workshops available for parents with a newly diagnosed child. Being that Autism is the fastest growing development disorder affecting 1-68 children worldwide. There should be workshops for Autism parents offered immediately after diagnosis to talk about hopes, fears, or whatever crosses their minds. An Autism diagnosis can mean a lot of things because it is a Spectrum Disorder. I obsessed and read everything from horror stories to extremely hopeful stories.

Needless to say, I had a lot of sleepless nights. Offering workshops or specialized therapy for parents would save people from unnecessary grief. Our experience also put me in denial because he was diagnosed with Pervasive Development DisorderNot Otherwise Specified Autism Spectrum Disorder. To someone uneducated that sounds like he “kind of” has Autism but not really. That delayed our understanding of the tribulations he will face. To my knowledge, they no longer give this specific long-winded diagnosis and for that I’m extremely grateful.

The emotional state of a parent that is told their child has autism is hard to explain. You worry about their struggle, how the world will receive them, education, and so on. Of course, there are groups and one can chose to talk to your therapist, but specialized care would help immensely. Today my son and our family are doing well. I needed to tell our story because I’m sure a lot of parents can relate and to maybe help a family about to embark on this journey called Autism.

Autism Spectrum Disorder Pervasive Development Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (ASD PDD - NOS)

Author’s Bio

Nita Z Juanita Zeigler

Nita Z (Juanita Zeigler)
Hey. How is everyone? I hope all is well. My name is Juanita Zeigler, but in my virtual life, I prefer Nita Z or just Nita. I’m a SAHM (stay at home mommy) who has been for too long, with that being said, I am packing up all my ambition, passion, and skill that’s been stored away, to set off on a blogging/writing adventure (wish me luck)! I am married and have been for all of 13 years this April (Cheers). Together we have 3 wonderful kids, one girl age 12 and two boys ages 10yrs and 11 months (never a dull moment here).

I enjoy writing (obviously lol), music, and cooking. I attended The Art Institute for Culinary Arts Associates program some years back. Didn’t have opportunity to finish but had a great time and learned a lot on the way. I am in the beginning stages of having my own personal lifestyle/opinion/advice blog (www.nitastruth.com). It is currently under construction and should be up and running in the near future.

My ultimate goal is to not only inform, but to have a voice for those who don’t, help others, and gain experience for other opportunities. I honestly don’t care about monetizing so much (though it would be nice). If I reach out and only help one person, my vision will have been realized. Well that’s my introduction, I hope you enjoy my article and become loyal readers in the future.


Guest Post Disclaimer

You may or may not agree with the views, and opinions of the author. However, it doesn’t represent the sentiments of Chesz Dylan and its entirety. The author has all the liability for errors and omissions including the copyright claims and intellectual property rights of this article.

Success: The Sacrifice of Losing People

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If you started from the scratch, you will value everything, even the one with the least value. You will appreciate and understand how people got their way up the ladder of success. Starting from the scratch is better than not trying at all. And not trying at all because of the lack of support from the person you thought will help and understand you is toxic and negative in the relationship. Get rid of the negativities around you. If it is a person, cut your relationship with him/her especially if he/she isn’t helping you nor giving you even an ounce of support.

See also: 16 Father’s Day Gift Ideas



Success isn’t just about learning from the hard lessons in life and applying it, or the contentment of doing your passions in life. Success isn’t just about your networth or the level of achievements you have succeeded. Success is removing the negativities around you. Be it a person, a thing or a relationship. Remove the people in your life that hinders you. People that are making you feel inferior and a loser your entire life. People that are toxic and the source of your burdens.

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See also: PASSION VS PRACTICAL VS NORMAL (THE LONG TERM)

Success is a formula of hardship, failure, sacrifice, mindset, action and loss. At one point, you have to sacrifice and lose something or someone in exchange. You have to remove the negativities and motivate yourself. That is why, not everyone are able to succeed because not everyone are willing to sacrifice. Unless you are born with a silver platter.


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7 Struggles Of A Content Writer And What To Do

Social media is now the perfect advertisement tool if you want to promote a product, a service or an event. Gone are the days when mainstream media and publications are the only means for you to advertise. Social media engagements, likes, number of followers and traffics has been the bases of advertisers. And your content is the primary driving source to make it. Connections and influence might help, but still, a great content can attract even the most capable client. Year after year, content of the websites has been the most in-demand medium to promote a certain product. Your content matters to the advertisers or any prospective business partners. That is why content writing has been the most sought after and meticulously woven words to cater the demands of the clients.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, writing employment for both writers and authors is projected to rise at 8% from 2016 to 2026. That is equivalent to any occupations. Experienced writers can find work in public sectors of corporations and in nonprofit organizations. While those who are in the freelance category can find work with the journal publishers, newspaper and magazine agents, or write their own books.

Unfortunately, due to its rising demand in the market and the ever increasing number of writers, experience and qualifications has skyrocketed and strong competition is expected for this job. With this new age, working with a variety of digital and electronic tools is definitely an advantage. But with these predicaments, many aspiring writers are in distress of achieving a writing career, so self-employment or self-publishing is inevitable. The good thing is that, the traction of ebooks and digital formats will allow many writers and author both aspiring and professionals, both the corporate and self-publishing to publish their works. In reality, it’s funny that you will only do the same job of a typical writer once you are hired, regardless of your qualifications. I know, right?

Now, for those aspiring writers or those who aren’t competitive enough in this industry, struggles are real and it will hit you rock bottom. These are some of the struggles content writers, aspiring writers, and authors are facing in the writing industry.

1- EDUCATION

Definitely the deal breaker. Unfortunately, many writers with a creative mind are either no degree or have not finished their college. For different personal reasons, however, this is the first thing they lack inorder to enter the industry. Regarding the passion in writing, I find that these underachievers are more passionate compared to those have their bachelor’s degree. These underachievers will definitely face the harsh reality of life even in any other industry when you don’t have a degree. Only few companies are giving chances to these underprivileged. Fewer than the number of your fingers.

What To Do:
Simply put, if you have the money and the opportunity to study in any school, grab it. Try to finish it as much as possible. If someone granted you scholarship, take down your pride and remind yourself of your future. Think of ways on how you can study. You can work in day job and study at night or vice versa. Do part-time jobs and save that earnings for your college tuition. This is already a great investment when you have a degree.

2- EXPERIENCE

Again, even the greatest content writer is nothing compared to a mediocre college degree writer that worked in a prestigious publication. For those who earned it through hardwork, I commend you, but for those who are just referred without any qualification, goodluck. Opinions aside, connection and influence is important for this job or any jobs in general. Unfortunately, this is also one of the main reasons why potential contents writers aren’t hired.

What To Do:
Invest in your writing skill first. Write articles in your school, or write as a volunteer until such time you found your niche and what subjects are you good at. Write an article in your social media accounts, always practicing zero grammatical errors and original contents. Hone it, and when you think you have the confidence, try to write your pitch to any publication.



3- COMPENSATION

Payment is one of the important factors why some content writers are discouraged in pursuing a writing career. Depending on your level of expertise, some writers are getting an above average compensation while some are getting a menial compensation especially those writers in the Freelance sector.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, $62,170 is the median annual salary for writers and authors last May 2018. Based on the survey in 2016, about 1 in 4 writers and authors had worked as a part-time.

US Bureau of Labor Statistics

According to an article published by Dennis Abrams of publishingperspective.com, a 2014 Digital Book World and Writer’s Digest Author Survey was conducted. The respondents were divided into four categories. “Just over 77% of self-published writers make $1,000 a year…with a startlingly high 53.9% of traditionally-published authors, and 43.6% of hybrid authors, reporting their earnings are below the same threshold. Only 0.7% of self-published writers, 1.3% of traditionally published writers, and 5.7% of hybrid writers reported earning more than $100,000 a year from their writing.”

Some writers also used different means in order to monetize their work. Google Adsense, WordPress Adwords, Facebook Ads, Amazon Affiliates Program, and Rakuten Marketing to name a few are the names you will commonly hear for a commission-based affiliate programs. These are helpful for bloggers and website owners to generate additional income aside from their daily lucrative jobs.

What To Do:
Compensation are the usual issue of an aspiring content writer. Some writers are working a full-time day job in order to meet their financial needs, and content writing is only their part-time job. Whatever options you choose, whether you work a day time job, participate in affiliate programs, write a book, write as a ghostwriter, write in a paid guest post or outsource your articles in commisssion-based clients, what’s important is you are maximizing your money-generating potential by these alternatives. You are also creating connections and influence that could land you to a potential big publications in the future.

4- INTERVIEW

Bear in mind that writers in general tend to be introverts. Thus, affecting how they interact with the clients. This might also be debatable for some, not everyone who pass the interviews are good at the field. And not all interviewers are objective. It boils down to personal preference if the interviewer likes you or not, shunning the passionate ones for the writing job.

What To Do:
Read Self-Help books and articles in personal development. Watch Youtube videos in articulation and fluency. Practice yourself talking in front of the mirror. Read some books aloud just so you know if you are saying it right. Be more confident, even in any circumstances.

5- LEARNING

This is a personal choice. Whether you like to continuously grow as a writer or not, it is important to keep on learning, regardless of your age. Even the billionaires keep on learning by reading some books. You have to continuously develop yourself in the field you are into or as an individual. By doing this, you are getting more ideas and knowledge in the ingredients of a great article should be. When you stop learning, you are giving yourself limitations to the things you can do, you will do and what you have done, without knowing what hidden talents you still possessed.

What To Do:
Read. Read. Read more. Attend free seminars, workshops or if you can afford to pay for one, that would be better. Interact with those people who are great in the industry and remember their insights.

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6- IDEAS AND MINDSET

Because of the increasing demand of writers, many ideas has been cliched. Unknowingly, the book or the articles you already wrote maybe the same as the others. This is where originality and creativity takes place. Remember, many writers can copy your article, but they can never copy your writing voice. Stress and mental stability plays a critical role in your writing, leading to the writing state called Writer’s Block. I did an article tackling the issue about writer’s block and blank page syndrome for your additional reference. So before you will write, try to pray and meditate. Calm your inner self for the ideas to follow freely.

When you aspired to be a writer, it was your passion that drove you in this industry. Many writers tend to stop at the middle or weren’t able to pursue their writing career, probably because of some personal reasons. But if you are passionate in this craft, quitting should not be an option. Stopping anytime will become laziness until such time you lose that passion or interest.

What To Do:
It is a must for writers to think about their content, especially when the clients has their criterions about the content you are commissioned to do. It is also the content that would make or break your writing career.

Consider these three questions as your guidance.

  • Why am I writing this?
  • To whom is this article for?
  • What benefits can my readers get?

7- PROCRASTINATION

Proscrastination hinders our growth. It hinders us to accomplish something. It hinders us to be productive at our writing. It hinders us to take actions and do our responsibilities. Consider this, delaying your work is also delaying your salary and delaying your achievements in life. Completing even a little task one at a time, is a one step of making your writing career a success. Hahaha.

What To Do:
Practice Time Management. It is self-motivated. Try to create a habit, by starting to write in the early morning. When you feel like it isn’t working, work for the first two minutes, during that time you have to focus about your content. It could lead to two possible outcomes. Either you will continue or stop afterwards. If it is the latter, try to take a break but continue again after an hour or if you regain your momentum. Remember, continue writing even when you don’t feel like it.

Being in the field of writing is not that easy. There are days when you feel a Writer’s Block and there are days when ideas keep on coming. There is no perfect content no matter how good you are. There is no habit and routine that could transform you into a perfect Content Writer. There will be people in the industry that will not like you or even your work. There will be many struggles along the way. There is no shortcut of everything except hard work and perseverance. If you want to be good at something invest 10000 hours in it to be able to master it. If you are passionate about it, no matter how many failures that discouraged you to stop, pursue it!

I would love to hear your struggles in whatever job you are currently in. Comment in the section below and let us encourage each other to be the best version of ourselves.

16 Father’s Day Gift Ideas

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Six days from now many fathers around the globe will be greeted and appreciated by their family, relatives, friends and colleagues. Why? This is the most special day that is dedicated for fathers, father figures, male parenting and their father duties that impacted the lives of their children– Father’s Day.

Believe it or not, Father’s Day was originated from the idea of a woman. What? It was Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, WA idea after she listened to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909. That time, Mother’s Day was widely known and celebrated. It was Dodd who came up with the idea that fathers also deserves to be recognize. Part of the idea is because she and her siblings were raised by their dad as their mother already died. She picked the birth month of her dad (which is June) and in 1910, the first celebration of Father’s Day was established in Spokane. It was only after 56 years when  President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation giving recognition to the fathers, designating the third Sunday of June as Father’s Day. Six years later in 1972, when President Richard Nixon made it official as a permanent national holiday.

See also: The Boy Who Never Had a Mom

ESSENCE OF THE FATHERHOOD

Just like the mothers, the fathers deserves the same recognition for their hard work. They play one of the most important part of the family, being the pillar of the smallest unit of the society. Fathers play a crucial role especially in the development of the son and the emotional security of the daughter. They don’t just aid the family’s finances, but they are the decision-maker of the entire household.



Due to the on-going trend in our society today, there has been single dads and father figures that are raising their family alone. Socio-economic, financial stability and emotional capacity are some of the factors that continues this social trend, becoming a norm in today’s standard of living. Some people are also drawn to themselves, thus, selfishness, self-love and narcissism has grown exponentially over the course of years. Take note that it is not wrong to love ourselves. What’s wrong is trying to please ourselves above pleasing and caring for the needs of our family. Of course, some people might disagree because of determining personal factors. There are still traditional family values that are still being practice until today.

FATHER GIFT IDEAS

Going back to our topic, giving gift to our fathers is a sign of respect and giving reward to their daddy duties because we love them. How can we show them? By giving material gifts other than greeting them and saying I love you. Below are some of the great gift ideas we can give our fathers this Father’s Day.


T-Shirt/Jersey/Suit. This has been the typical gift of anyone. It’s like an automatic response when we can’t think of a gift idea, or we need an on-the-spot gift to our fathers, this comes first in mind. However cliche it may seem, but this has always been effective and classic. Especially knowing that most of the fathers aren’t buying T-shirts for themselves. Hahaha. Some daddies are a fan of a certain sports team, so giving them a fan or collectible edition jerseys are great. While office daddies can look dashing and appealing in a great, if not expensive suit.

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Belt. An accessory every man must have. This is an important accessory of a busy office daddy. A great, if not expensive belt wrapped around any man’s waist is any man’s social pride.

Watch. An accessory co-equal to the belt. Unlike belts, watches are more prominent as it contributes to overall outer appearance. It is more eye-catching because belts are sometimes hidden or partially hidden. Busy daddies are always looking at the time, so checking their wrist is pretty normal. Unknown to women, buying men an expensive watch has the same effect like when women receives a jewelry from men. A great if not expensive timepiece wrapped around their hand is lit.🔥

Shoes. A nice pair of new shoes will always be appreciated by the busy daddies, whether it is a new pair of office shoes or a new pair of sneakers. At least make it blend with his everyday casual outfits or regular office attires. A nice pair of Nike or rubber shoes for a sporty dad will give more inspiration to his physical fitness routines. Shoes are one of any dads or men in general’s favorite material things.

Underwear. As naugthty as it may seem, but for daddies or men in general, buying them a nice piece of underwear is not an issue. Unlike women who tends to buy their own lingeries, men in general aren’t picky in the brand, and the fabric of the underwear. As long as it is not a bikini or string-type and flashy brief, it’s okay. Nowadays, boxer briefs and shorts are mostly prefered by many men.

Fountain Pen/Branded Pen. This is not a common gift ideas for daddies. Actually, this is only highly recommended when our daddies are working in an office, and when he is part of a writing industry.


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Mug. Most of the dads are drinking hot beverages every morning. It could be coffee, tea, hot choco or any hot concoctions they drink as part of their maintenance drinks. And giving them something usable like a mug will invigorate their morning drinks and mood.

See also: 4 PLACES TO VISIT THIS INDEPENDENCE DAY

Necktie. Neckties contributes to a man’s overall appearance in the office. A great tie combined with a great suit is so appealing. Nowadays, fashion-conscious office dads taking great neckties seriously as a great part of office OOTDs.

Liquor/Wine. This may be offensive or debatable for some, especially among religious conservatives. Giving daddies the liquor brands they like this Father’s Day is much appreciated. At the same time, this will be a great father-son bonding time if both are into drinking. A great brand of beer, whiskey or wine and a delicious appetizer already completed the daddy’s day.

Tobacco/Vape. Give this to the fathers who you knew are into smoking. An expensive brand of tobacco or cigars, especially a collectible edition will greatly satisfy their smoking craving. In the same manner as how daddy drinkers are satisfied by their drinking habit.

Book. Self-help books, financial freedom books, DIY books, biographical books and Novels. Give these to daddies who are into reading or are writers.

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Greeting Card/Letter. The most traditional among these list of gifts. The downside of this is that, not all men in general wanted to received a card or a letter. Especially now that text messaging and social media message apps are a norm.

Gadgets. Millennial daddies use gadgets often. It is part of their lives if not of work. From a nice flat screen tv, to an amplified bluetooth headset or sound system. To a high-spec Macbook and laptop, to an expensive mobile phone. To a techie stuff in the market and to Alexa home system, name it, all daddies want these new stuff.

See also: 14 Stand-Out Halloween Costumes And Amazon Bestsellers 2019

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Collectibles. This can be of any material form, even the ones that are mentioned above. Car, miniature toys, caps, guns, books, wine bottles, compact knives, tools, posters, cds and anything that could be a part of the collection of the daddies. You don’t know how much you would make them happy.

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Personalized Items. Unlike collectibles, most of these items are part of the daddies’ everyday use. Giving a little touch of creativity will show daddies that they are appreciated by their daddy efforts.

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Date/Outing. Above all material things, it will always be memories that are unforgotten. Treat the fathers in an expensive restaurant. There are restaurants that offers discounts during Father’s Day. Or plan a one day vacation or outing with the daddies, so they will unwind and be refresh from the stressful working days of the entire year. Another is treat them a ticket to their favorite movie or concert or buy a ticket to their favorite match or sports team, They will surely love it.

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Regardless of the gift ideas that will be chosen above. It should always come from the heart and effort. No matter how cheap or how expensive it is, if the intention is to let the fathers feel the warmth of the Father’s day, by all means, give it all out. Besides, Father’s Day is a once a year celebration. Above all these, it is important to let the fathers know how much they are love and appreciated everyday.

Any additional ideas you have in mind that wasn’t in the list? Write it in the comments below. I would love to hear your ideas and comments about this post.


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Don’t Become Who Hurt You

This is simple yet profound that when taken by heart it has a deep meaning within its context. Sometimes we don’t know that a part of us that was hurt can leave a scar that cannot easily mend by time, or even death. Sometimes, the person that hurts us leave an impression that is forever delisted in our system, if not forever be forgotten in our life.

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See also: You Are Never Worthless

I remember when I was young. The person who hurt me left my childhood a sad, immeasurable pain, and left me growing with a vengeful heart. I am so drowned of avenging myself because that part of me was the beginning of a mess I paid by my entire childhood. That part of me was helpless. A voiceless kid who just followed orders and what those adults made me believed. I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt or conscience because what I was feeling back then was a total remorse and loathe. I hated him to the point that I cursed him. To the point I no longer feel any love or sympathy. To the point I wished he was dead. I blamed him for all my childhood sufferings, for the brokenness I feel, and the family I will never have. I went through it a lot physically, intellectually and emotionally. To the point that I feel like I don’t deserve this life – everything!

I did everything I could not to be like him; not to grow as an incompetent adult; not to grow as a worthless husband or a useless dad. I plunged myself away, so far away, dwindling in shame and shutting all my emotions and keep it all by myself.

It is normal for anyone to blame others. Humans are created selfish and full of pride. Humans find fault in everything; humans aren’t easily contented in what they have, and I’m no better than anyone.

Later did I realized, that the person I never wanted to be – the person I hated, and rejected, is becoming the person in me. The things I hated about him, is suddenly imparted in my system. I only realized when I found myself acting like a fool, when my actions and my indecisiveness are becoming prevalent to the extent that it is manifesting on me. I hated myself for it, just as how I hated the person who made me feel it.

I didn’t undergo any therapy or counseling. The guilt, the anger and frustrations is piling up. It’s eating me whole inside. A part of me – the helpless me, is trying to suppress it as much as it can. It was hard. There are times I feel like I will undergo cardiac arrest anytime because of the sudden burst of pain in my heart. It doesn’t always occur, but once it does, it’s unbearable and I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s never good to keep it all inside especially when you have a weak heart.

It is when we hurt that we learn.   
– Steve Maraboli

DON’T BECOME WHO HURT YOU. Don’t let your hurt and pain define you; don’t let it feed your ego; don’t let the good in you be consumed by it; don’t let it become who you are – learn to forgive; forgiveness is the key. I know it isn’t easy. It isn’t something that could easily erase everything, every memory and hurt. Forgive sincerely, at least try it little by little. It’s a long process of healing, but it produces great result – a fulfilling result.

See also: Ode of a Broken Son

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When I think about it, I realized that it’s possible. It’s possible to forgive. It’s possible to feel positive despite the negativities and despite there has been no changes in his part. So, if you were given a chance, confront that person who hurt you and made you feel it. I know it was wrong for keeping it all inside me. I know fully that it has a negative effect in my personality, in my upbringing but I was always like that – stubborn. I suffered from it. And I don’t want you to feel it, that same feeling. It was never good. It robbed me my happiness in my childhood. It robbed me the love I should have given. It robbed me of the future I should have had, if only I didn’t allowed that hurt to ate my whole being.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

Lastly, have faith. Give all your hurt and pains to our father in heaven.

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Passion vs Practical vs Normal (The Long Term)

Passion-vs-practical-vs-normal

With a snap, this idea just suddenly popped out of my head. Personally, I have an attitude where I tend to get easily bored at something. It’s not like a form of indecisiveness, nor like I am a boring person. I just had a sudden thought that is playing in my mind, so I feel like venting it out in here. There are differences among passion, practicality, and normalcy, especially when we are talking about the long-term effects of these three. As I go on further in this topic, I want to remind the readers that these are not mere speculations, but a part of this is based on my personal experiences and how I feel.



See also: The Beauty in the Far Provinces

You see, as I continue to grow and learn, I learn one of the best things to continue in life. It is doing your passions. I know, some of you might not agree. Or you might say, it is subjective. I will try not to answer it, instead, give you my personal insights. Passion is a great motivation to one’s self. Yes, you have dreams, goals in life whether it is short-term or long-term. But without passion, probably, you will only fulfill it halfway in your entire life. Fulfillment is a personal choice. It is not based on achieving material things or social status. Fulfillment is synonymous with contentment. Why personal? Because we have different views on this. But believe me, the climax of this will still be about yourself.

Helping your parents, accomplishing a degree, working in a rewarding job, owning a house, conceiving a child, and a hefty bank account. Those are good, but they shouldn’t affect you, nor your passion. I heard people say, they are contented with what they have. That their only goal is to help their parents etc. Again, that is not about doing your passion. Do not interchange passion with obligation (responsibility). I’m telling you now, in the end, you will feel exhausted not doing what you REALLY like.

See also: When the passion is Gone?

Passion is the fullness of what you really like from the bottom of your heart. The fullness of what REALLY matters to you. What you want in life. That no matter what the outcome, at least you did it. No obligation, no blaming, and no regrets. Just because you fell halfway, you will stop. Passion is an emotional attachment to your inner self. That even though you stopped doing it, it will always be within you. It’s okay if you fall, and it’s definitely okay to postpone it for a while. Take a break. But the problem is TIME is irreversible and limited.

See also: Love and Writing

Practicality is an ever-changing trend. Normally, it is seasonal. Why? Say, the trend of the degree people are studying. Two years ago, it was Nursing, then last year it was Education, and now what? Hospitality? Customer Service? Some of us based our decision on the trending degree, or trending job. Again, we are talking about the long term here. Yes, you will help your parents. Yes, you will repay your debts. Yes, you can buy a house and a car, etc. But until when? Sadly, the chances of succeeding in life are minimal. The blame game, folks! I won’t deny that your parents had to do with most of these. But again, pursue your passion after achieving what your parents want you to.

See also: Anthology: 2 Millimeters per Second

Normalcy is the state of being normal. Being ordinary. It’s good, in some ways. Unless, you don’t want to grow, not getting the material things you really want, not getting the job you want, not going to your travel destinations, and live your life being mediocre. It is not about being choosy, but do not settle on a lucrative job. Unless it’s the job you passionately want. Being ambitious is not a sin. But being normal will only harbor regrets and a half-ass achievement in life. Being “normal” is not for those whose mindset is to become someone in the future. Being normal is not for visionaries. That is why there is a big difference between the rich and the poor in mindset alone.

See also: A GREAT STORYTELLER WHO WRITES FROM HIS GUT

At the end of the day, it’s your life. It’s your experience. No one can dictate your happiness or your state of contentedness. But, I want to let you know, that doing your passion is still the BEST decision. When you are passionate about serving others, there is no gossips and back fighting. When you are passionate about your job, there will be innovations. When you are passionate about whatever you do, there is no weariness and it will pay off to your advantage. And lastly, when you are at the point in your life that you feel tired and disappointed, relax and take a break.

See also: Finding Harry Novel

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When the Passion is Gone?


Passion. Is it really a strong feeling? Is it really a strong desire or urge for something or someone? Is it endless? Or maybe it was just a normal feeling? And just like any other emotion, it has its limit?

When-the-passion-is-gone

See also: You Are Never Worthless

While I was writing this, I had my fair share of emotions popping inside my head. Thoughts about my relationship, my job, my writing, and also about myself. As my mind wanders, I feel like I’m lost. When I think about it, I feel like that passion is slowly fading. I don’t know why. Maybe, there’s a problem with myself? Or perhaps, I am actually the problem? I don’t know.



RELATIONSHIP

I always believed in happy endings. I always believed that somehow, love conquers all. I am a romantic guy by heart, though it isn’t obvious (Ikr?) It was the idea that I always had in mind. It was ideal, that I always try to hold on to. But well, I came from a broken family and yes, I guess everyone knew it. So, coming from that situation, I always admire a complete family. It was my desire to have that kind of family on my own. When I think about it, it’s not just a desire or passion but a MUST HAVE (regardless, any sacrifice that I have to endure). But I guess, that is just a fantasy. I know both must work on it. (I’m trying!) But I admit that there are times when I feel like I just want to give up. There are times when I feel like I want to just run away from all my responsibilities. There are times that I questioned myself if is it still worth it? I would be selfish with these thoughts but who isn’t? I know once or many times in your life that you came to this point. I love her, no doubt about it but is it still the same? Or does she still feel the same way to me? (who knows).

See also: The Love of A Father

CAREER

I always had these ambitions that I try to keep for myself. Yes, all our decisions will affect our future. Well, I guess, I failed in here, miserably. But I believed that all things work together for good. So all the circumstances that happened in our life had their meaning and purpose that will surely unfold if not now, later in the future. Everyone dreamt of becoming someone. Everyone wants an entitlement. Everyone wants to achieve something and Yes, I am no different from them. I came to a point in my life that I stopped dreaming about my future. Literally. I lost the ability to dream; that passion for building a successful future; that passion of going beyond the places that I’ve never been to. But I can say that I am trying to pursue it now, one by one. Those little steps aren’t bad, right? Because I don’t want to have any regrets later in my life.

See also: Passion vs Practical vs Normal (The Long Term)

WRITING

I always wanted to write. Yes, I am hoping to publish the book I wrote aside from being part of the anthologies and contributions. But sometimes, I asked myself if it was really my passion to write or just a hobby? Before I could sustain sleepless nights just to finish a chapter but as time goes by, it is taking its toll on me. Maybe because of my work? Maybe because of laziness? I don’t know. There are times that I want to write but I feel like I have no inspiration. There are times that I thought about my next story but I don’t have the urge to write it down. But there are also times that I feel like quitting.

See also: Writer’s Block and Blank Page Syndrome

I believed that in everything we do, there should always be a passion to do it. It’s what motivates us. But, I also know that some of you are also at this point in your life. It’s hard for some (just like me). But try to hold on to it.. even when the passion is gone.

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You Are Never Worthless


Lately, I have been seeing suicide videos on the internet. So I had this sudden thought that, was a life that worthless? Was life that unfair to you and treated you so badly that taking your own life is the only way out? What will you tell God when you are in front of the Judgement throne? Think about it.

You-are-never-worthless

See also: The Love of a Father


| Suicide |noun. the intentional taking of one’s own life.


Photo Credit: afsp.org
  • Quick Notes:
  • On average, there are 121 suicides per day.
  • Suicides Rates by Age: In 2015, the highest suicide rate (19.6) was among adults between 45 and 64 years of age. Adolescents and young adults aged 15 to 24 had a suicide rate of 12.5.
  • Suicide Rates by Race/Ethnicity: In 2015, the highest U.S. suicide rate (15.1) was among Whites and the second highest rate (12.6) was among American Indians and Alaska Natives.
  • Suicide Methods: In 2015, firearms were the most common method of death by suicide, accounting for a little less than half (49.8%) of all suicide deaths.



Honestly, I don’t pity those people that are committing suicide. Yes, you might think that I am being hard on this subject but we have to deal with it seriously. We all have the freedom to decide and to express ourselves in a manner we know-how. So taking your own life was your decision from the very beginning. You are alone to be blamed.

See also: No Greater Love

How can you say these things when you aren’t in my shoes?

“Been there, almost done that.” So, I can actually relate to this. Yes, you are not perfect. Yes, you are emotionally unstable. Yes, you don’t have the courage to face this kind of thing. Yes, you are fragile. Yes, you want to escape from reality. Yes, you are S-E-L-F-I-S-H! (wait, what?). Yes! You are selfish! It’s not like your problem was the worst problem one would experience. Think of the people you will leave behind.

We all have had our fair share of struggles and depressions. We all experience pain. There are people on the other side of the globe that is hanging between life and death. People who are begging, praying, and asking God to extend their life. People who never wanted to die in the midst of the bloody Syrian War. People who have Stage 4 Cancers and those who were in a comatose state.


Life is a gift from God. Never say that you are worthless because in God’s sight, we are special; we are important to Him, we are created according to His image (Gen. 1:27) and we are His children (Gal. 3:26).


The Cross became Meaningless. Jesus died on the cross because he loves us. His death became meaningless to those who thought Jesus’ crucifixion is worthless. Always remember that we are all worthy in God’s sight, regardless of anything or any circumstances. Think of this, if we are worthless, then Jesus should have not been crucified. And there should have not been shedding of the blood.


See also: The Writer’s Heart

John 3:16 ESV For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are never worthless in the eyes of our perfect God.

©All rights reserved 2017.

Choose Your Friends

Choose-your-friends

As I was reading my Facebook newsfeed, I came across this post about a crime done by a certain group of individuals or ‘barkada’ to an OFW.

See also: CHIVALRY SHOULD NOT BE DEAD

……….
1 Cor. 15:33
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

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……….
Psalm 1:1
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers

This is one of the problems in our society. Hard-drinking, a little pot session, and late-night gigs at discos and bars. These are frivolous things that are heavily influenced by your friends or peers. Of course, I am publicly admitting that I was once guilty of either one or two of these. Oh, the Youth!

See also: A GREAT STORYTELLER WHO WRITES FROM HIS GUT

I am not saying that all your friends are that bad or good. It’s just that, we should be careful on who to trust and share some important matters in our lives. For they have the power to influence you, to destroy or build you up!

In a group of peers, there will always be different personalities. Also, let us not forget but remember, that there will always be this black sheep among them. Imagine a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing and pretending and living among one of these sheep. It is ready to devour one of the sheep if given the opportunity.



And just like how Judas Iscariot seated among Jesus’ disciples. Where in the end, he betrayed Jesus for 30 shekels of silver. I hope that while reading this, you are not one with the Spirit of Judas Iscariot. Nor have the intention of receiving the 30 shekels to disown a friend in favor of the position.

Choosing a friend is like you already have a glimpse of your future. Why? How come? It’s simply because, how they are living their life and how they impart their special attributes to you will also affect you and your outlook in life. I know some of you might disagree and say ‘I have a lot of drug-addicted friends but I ended up professional and not in jail‘. Good for you then, because you chose not to be influenced by this thing. It only means that you should use that opportunity or that thought to help your fellow friends not be involved in that destructive thing.

See also: YEAR OF THE DOG AND YOUR WRITING FATE

How?

Simple! Be a good son or daughter or a good father or mother. Be a good follower. Be a good influence and role model. Be humble. Be a good friend. Be a good listener. Be ready to accept criticisms. Do not tolerate. Encourage and lift them up. Lead a life that will testify to the goodness of God. Lead a life that will strengthen them through God. Lead a life full of compassion. Lead a life that will lead them to Salvation. Lead a life through the eyes of God and His words. And lastly, lead a life in a way how you will make a great positive impact in their lives!

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The Love of a Father

Love-of-a-father

“Growing up without a father could permanently alter the structure of the brain.
Ben Spencer, The Daily Mail

A sad reality for children that grew up fatherless. Based on the research, growing up without a father have many psychological effects. Effects like suicidal tendencies, drug addiction, low self-esteem, school drop-outs or low educational attainment and behavioral problems like depression and anger. I, myself, can attest to this. It was the most depressing part of my life. I want to be clear on this matter first. I do have a father but I didn’t grow up having him beside me, so it makes sense to consider myself fatherless in a general perspective.

See also: Chivalry should not be Dead

GROWING UP

People who knew me knows that I came from a broken family. I wouldn’t divulge on this matter more further. It was really hard growing up without your parent, especially your father. As a boy, a father figure is very important as it was supposed to be who you will look up to when you grow up. But unfortunately, it didn’t turn out that way. I was totally depressed and I kept it to myself. From depression it became a hatred. A hatred that I carried in my heart for almost my entire life. At first I thought, I should understand him because that is how it’s supposed to be? But no! We became so distant. So distant that I never knew him. The sad part was, he didn’t even try reaching out to me.



As I grew up in High School it was the most devastating part. I became suicidal. I cursed him so many times. My hatred was intensified. Adding the peer pressures and emotional torment. Of course, my friends, classmates and relatives thought I was okey. I was never okey! I am broken! Yes, my grandmother raised me well, but that isn’t enough. It was never enough! I was a kind and obedient boy because I was fragile, and I can’t do anything but to obey them.

THE FAITH

If there’s one thing that I am thankful for is knowing God since I was young. I feared him that I am afraid to commit suicide even though I have that kind of mentality. He is one of the important reasons why I am still sane up until now. I have a choice. I can kill myself or use drugs. But I chose not to. And, it was also my sister’s advice that I will never forget.

See also: Haunted Misery of Dreyfus

FATHERHOOD

I became a father at the age of 22, it was until then that I learned one of the most valuable lessons in life and it really hit me hard. It was also the time that I learned and started to forgive my dad. It was tough and needs a lot of courage. But I realized that if I don’t forgive him, how will I become a great father to my daughter? No one will do it, it was an initiative that I must do. Not just for my daughter but most especially for me. I need it. I need to forgive him so I can move on from my bitter past.

OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” –John 3:16

Those were painful childhood memories, yes! It was part of me, that’s a fact. But you know what the good news is? I have overcome it, thanks be to God. Now that I have grown in faith, I realized that, that was just a grain of pain and sufferings compared to what God has done on the cross for myself, for ourselves. He is the perfect image of a father… faithful, generous, compassionate and loving. In fact, he offered his one and only begotten son to save us from our sins. He bore our infirmities and pains on the calvary. He is the father who will never leave us nor forsake us. He is the father who provides ALL our needs. And he is the father who loves us more than our earthly fathers and watches us 24/7.

Through God’s grace, I have forgiven my real father. Honestly, I cannot do it alone, I was on verge of hatred back then but God picked me up from there. The scar that my father did was permanent, so I thought. But No, if you completely gave your life to God he will do great and amazing things. As white as a snow, that permanent effect you once thought will just fade, together with all that painful memories. To God be the Glory!

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